I started this entry by saying “good morning beautiful world” but since I am posting it well into the afternoon, that statement no longer applies.
Last week, exactly a week ago today, a dear friend told me about a labyrinth in a neighbourhood church that I knew nothing about. Curiosity took me there and I had a wonderful calming experience walking through it. It was actually such a pleasant experience that I have been going every morning since then.
As I walked the labyrinth today I had several powerful revelations come to me … AHAs that totally overwhelmed me. Now if you are a skeptic, you may say that I willed those thoughts into my head but believe me when I say that they truly did come a source outside of me.
Recently, on my birthday, I discovered or perhaps should say learned about and connected with my Essential Silent Partner. We all have one of those but may give different names to them: soul, inner being, higher intelligence. The title does not matter but what does is the connection. And that is absolutely divine! Personally I love the name Essential Silent Partner (ESP). It includes me in this role of creator of my life; this is team work and we are a powerful team, my ESP and I … as you and your ESP are!
My First AHA: As I was walking in the labyrinth this morning my ESP lovingly talked to me and said that I do not need to keep asking. I have placed my order and the Universe has received it. It always does. All I need to do is to believe, to trust that it is coming just like my dinner order in a restaurant. It is not necessary to keep reminding the waiter that I have placed an order. I need to embody this trust much the same way that I trust the path of the labyrinth even when I am walking it backwards. I may need to stop and sometimes even to step aside to allow another to pass by but I will always get there; get to the centre.
The universe is abundant and since I am one with and a part of the Universe, then by simple deduction, I too am abundant. As an aside, or perhaps not, I had a very strong urge to make a donation to the church for the maintenance of the labyrinth. I have a one hundred dollar note in my wallet and I felt the strong urge that this one hundred dollar note should be given away because it is in this act that I demonstrate my trust, that there is so much more coming to me. It is the walk in the talk.
I would like to mention here that this $100 is not extra cash; it is not discretionary income. My present resources are limited and this money was ear-marked to pay some bills. This gesture was somewhat like the drowning swimmer who is told by the lifeguard to stop thrashing, to relax, to let go and to allow the lifeguard to do his work.
My Second Aha: For some time now I have been trying to feel the presence, the connection with dearly beloved who have made their transition from the physical world. My father is one of these “spirits”. I had a very strong connection with my father when he was alive. I think that it would be fair to say that he was truly my role model and my life’s accomplishments are a result of his examples.
The church housing the labyrinth is called St. Paul’s. For some reason I had never really paid any attention to this fact. And now, as I walked the labyrinth, it occurred to me that my father, whose name was also Paul, had to be with me in spirit. How appropriate that I was having this experience of Peace, Love and Joy in a place with my father’s name and this thought infused me with unconditional love.
Just to back-track a little, as I walk into the centre of the labyrinth, I have been using the mantra “I release all limiting and negative thoughts from my consciousness” and then as I am walking our I mentally say to myself: I am pure joy, I am unconditional love”. As I go through the day I remind myself of this unconditional love that I claim to be especially when a street person with very foul body aromas plumps himself beside me on a bus. Like the devout Catholics with their “Hail Mary full of grace …” I keep repeating in my head “I am unconditional love” and paste a grin on my face that I hope is not too revealing of the struggle that I am having about us all being one.
Well I actually have a real live target upon whom to practice my “unconditional love”. I have a friend who at times irritates me dreadfully. I know that this is my issue but the lack of patience and irritation invariably surfaces when I am in her presence. Each time I remind myself that here is a perfect opportunity to “walk the talk” but I rarely succeed. Today, I was instructed to invite her to come to the labyrinth.
Even though the labyrinth is a very recent practice in my, life it has become a sacred ritual for me. The walk to the church allows me to focus and centre my thoughts. It prepares my mind and spirit for the walk inside the labyrinth. And after the walk I love to sit quietly on a bench outside and to reflect on the experiences, the thoughts, the emotions that occurred during the past thirty minutes. This is a routine that I do not wish to alter and the presence of this friend may be like a stick poked into the blades of a moving fan.
And yet, I have an inner knowing that if I place challenges before me, possibly necessitating modifications to my routine, the whole experience may, in fact, be enriched. So I have made a resolve to invite this friend today!
The Final Aha: I was actually out of the labyrinth when the most powerful revelation came to me. I was putting on my shoes and as I did this, I reached for the amulet that I always associate with my mother. This is a rose quartz pendant that my mother wore in the last years of her life and as her care-giver I clearly remember seeing it on a gold chain about her neck. When my mother passed away this pendant was a reminder of her. Although I did not wear it, the pendant was always with me, either in my pocket or on me in some other fashion and I “worried” it much in the same fashion that men in the Mediterranean region handle worry beads or Catholics pass a rosary through their fingers. While trying to find a connection with my mother, I used the presence of this object, which was once so much a part of her, as the conduit to her.
As I was reaching for this amulet in my pocket, I could not find it. At this precise moment a very clear message came to me that there was not need for a “trinket” in order to have a connection with her. This was such an all- encompassing feeling. There was such a strong surge of love and I felt my mother’s presence more strongly than I have in a very long time. As I sat on that bench in the sunshine, outside the church, I realized that the pendant could be put to rest. When I arrived home I placed it in a small chest with some other treasures of mine because I realized that her spirit is not in that rose quartz amulet. It is in my heart!