Under The Piano

It has been some time since I posted a blog.  Initially I followed the advice of the savvy internet gurus who recommended that a blog can only be successful if it contains new material regularly; regularly meant at least once a week.  I took this to heart and posted regularly, sometimes from a truly inspired position but many times not.  Then I decided that I would write and share only when it was meaningful and effortless.  In other words when an inspiration would flow naturally.

On the 7th of March I had an amazing experience.  I crawled under a grand piano onto some lovely silk fabric and rested my head in a nest of luxurious silk pillows.  At the keyboard Craig Addy started to play as I settled in for a magical experience called Under the Piano.  Although I had done this once before it was over four years ago and I could not really remember much about it other than the fact that it too had been magical.  And anyway, that was then and this was now and I just wanted to immerse myself in the present sensations.

Sensations?  Wow.  I flew like a bird.  I floated like an angel.  I was in a different realm.  I was out of my body.  I was weightless.  I was being caressed from inside out.  Not only was I able to experience the magical effect of the sounds and vibrations while under the piano; they appear to be etched into the very cells of my soul, reverberating from the core of me out into the universe; waves of sensation rather like a tuning fork diminishing but eternal like an echo.

The music that Craig played for me is all around me right now because he records each session and makes the music available.  And each time that I listen, that tuning fork is drawing back those sensations and having a continually amazingly soothing effect on me.  The same effect as initially?  I cannot really say.  Is every kiss the same? Every hug?  I gravitate to the recording because my soul craves that magical reverberating, that internal caress.

I wrote about this experience Under the Piano several days ago but was not totally satisfied.  I felt that there was more to be said. A dear friend (and skeptic) has revealed to me what I believe that “missing bit” really is.

First of all one needs to relax totally while under the piano; to surrender all thoughts and feelings that may be going on in the mind and allow the heart to take over.  It takes a great deal of courage for modern western man to surrender to the feelings and emotions that are normally under many layers of the conscious mind.  That can make one very vulnerable.  Modern man does not generally like to be vulnerable.

Yet surrendering, letting go, being vulnerable is the fulcrum of every self-help, personal growth program.  To surrender to what is; to the awareness of now which is where true power lies, as Eckhard Tolle tells us is the secret of happiness.  And this is exactly what happens while the body, Under the Piano, is absorbing the vibrations; allowing the music to wash and infiltrate the body and spirit.  Upon crawling out from Under the Piano there is only JOY!

In this busy world the media and advertising direct our focus to our bodies.  We go to gyms and spas; we diet; we work out.  And yet there is more and more evidence that the body is a reflection of the mind and spirit.  This is not only a message from Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer but more and more hard-core scientists are coming to the same conclusion.  Yet how many of us take our mind and spirit to the gym or spa or nourish it with good healthy organic ingredients?

Julian Treasure, a master of sound, who has given numerous presentations on Ted Talks crawled under that same piano a few days ago and allowed Craig’s music to create magic, no doubt personal and therefore different from mine but nevertheless cathartic and ethereal. Here is his testimonial: Under the Piano with Craig Addy

Show your mind and spirit how much you love them.  Crawl Under the Piano and let Craig Addy reveal to you your true inner self, your angelic higher self.

And here are a few sample playings and testimonials: Under The Piano

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Under the Piano

Posted in Acceptance, Awareness, Courage, Emotions, Feelings, Focus, Joy, Letting Go, Music, Passion, Peace, Personal Growth, Relax, Releasing, Stress, Surrrender, The Heart, The Mind, Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


LOA, the Law of Attraction, is now such a common expression in the western world but I wonder how many really believe in it or adhere to it.  In September of 2012 I went on an amazing trip to Europe and I know that I attracted the whole experience.  In other words, the Law of Attraction went to work on my behalf.

What is interesting here is that when we get an idea, have a wish or a desire then we want to take control on the how and this is where we stumble or said more directly, we get in the way and it does not come into our life.

My desire to go to Europe was very general.  And suddenly I was made an offer that I could not refuse.  Accommodation and the use of a vehicle just dropped into my lap … All I needed to do was purchase an airline ticket that would get me there and back.

Ten days into the trip I “left” my wallet behind.  I did not lose it; it was not stolen; I simply forgot it on a step where I had been sitting.  Upon realizing what I had done, I was very careful in my choice of words, even in my head.  In my mind’s eye, I saw the wallet back in my possession.  I gave thanks to the person that found it and gave it to the police. Furthermore, I gave permission for the money to be taken.  The money was the least of my concerns as I had passport, driver’s licence, credit and debit cards and other sundry items in the wallet.  I had no idea how the wallet was going to make its way back to me.  I simply knew that it would.  And it did!

During the time from the absence of the wallet until its return, which was about sixty hours, I kept reminding myself of the Pray Rain clip that I had heard from Jeannette Maw. I simply focused on the end result!  And this is probably the most difficult part. Remember I said at the beginning that we want to take control and design the how.  It is a tall order to tell an adult conditioned by life in the western world not to go there.  But that is the key to manifesting, to making the Law of Attraction kick in.  Just relish in the feeling that you are going to experience when it does show up and stay with that feeling.

Good luck and may all your wishes, dreams and desires come to fruition!  That is my wish for you for this new year.

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The Labyrinth

I started this entry by saying “good morning beautiful world” but since I am posting it well into the afternoon, that statement no longer applies.

Last week, exactly a week ago today, a dear friend told me about a labyrinth in a neighbourhood church that I knew nothing about.  Curiosity took me there and I had a wonderful calming experience walking through it.  It was actually such a pleasant experience that I have been going every morning since then.

As I walked the labyrinth today I had several powerful revelations come to me … AHAs that totally overwhelmed me.  Now if you are a skeptic, you may say that I willed those thoughts into my head but believe me when I say that they truly did come a source outside of me.

Recently, on my birthday, I discovered or perhaps should say learned about and connected with my Essential Silent Partner.  We all have one of those but may give different names to them: soul, inner being, higher intelligence.  The title does not matter but what does is the connection.  And that is absolutely divine!  Personally I love the name Essential Silent Partner (ESP).  It includes me in this role of creator of my life; this is team work and we are a powerful team, my ESP and I … as you and your ESP are!

My First AHA: As I was walking in the labyrinth this morning my ESP lovingly talked to me and said that I do not need to keep asking.  I have placed my order and the Universe has received it.  It always does.  All I need to do is to believe, to trust that it is coming just like my dinner order in a restaurant.  It is not necessary to keep reminding the waiter that I have placed an order.  I need to embody this trust much the same way that I trust the path of the labyrinth even when I am walking it backwards.  I may need to stop and sometimes even to step aside to allow another to pass by but I will always get there; get to the centre.

The universe is abundant and since I am one with and a part of the Universe, then by simple deduction, I too am abundant.  As an aside, or perhaps not, I had a very strong urge to make a donation to the church for the maintenance of the labyrinth. I have a one hundred dollar note in my wallet and I felt the strong urge that this one hundred dollar note should be given away because it is in this act that I demonstrate my trust, that there is so much more coming to me.  It is the walk in the talk.

I would like to mention here that this $100 is not extra cash; it is not discretionary income.  My present resources are limited and this money was ear-marked to pay some bills. This gesture was somewhat like the drowning swimmer who is told by the lifeguard to stop thrashing, to relax, to let go and to allow the lifeguard to do his work.

My Second Aha: For some time now I have been trying to feel the presence, the connection with dearly beloved who have made their transition from the physical world.  My father is one of these “spirits”.  I had a very strong connection with my father when he was alive.  I think that it would be fair to say that he was truly my role model and my life’s accomplishments are a result of his examples.

The church housing the labyrinth is called St. Paul’s.  For some reason I had never really paid any attention to this fact.  And now, as I walked the labyrinth, it occurred to me that my father, whose name was also Paul, had to be with me in spirit.  How appropriate that I was having this experience of Peace, Love and Joy in a place with my father’s name and this thought infused me with unconditional love.

Just to back-track a little, as I walk into the centre of the labyrinth, I have been using the mantra “I release all limiting and negative thoughts from my consciousness”  and then as I am walking our I mentally say to myself:  I am pure joy, I am unconditional love”.  As I go through the day I remind myself of this unconditional love that I claim to be especially when a street person with very foul body aromas plumps himself beside me on a bus.  Like the devout Catholics with their “Hail Mary full of grace …” I keep repeating in my head “I am unconditional love” and paste a grin on my face that I hope is not too revealing of the struggle that I am having about us all being one.

Well I actually have a real live target upon whom to practice my “unconditional love”.  I have a friend who at times irritates me dreadfully.  I know that this is my issue but the lack of patience and irritation invariably surfaces when I am in her presence.  Each time I remind myself that here is a perfect opportunity to “walk the talk” but I rarely succeed.  Today, I was instructed to invite her to come to the labyrinth.

Even though the labyrinth is a very recent practice in my, life it has become a sacred ritual for me.  The walk to the church allows me to focus and centre my thoughts.  It prepares my mind and spirit for the walk inside the labyrinth.  And after the walk I love to sit quietly on a bench outside and to reflect on the experiences, the thoughts, the emotions that occurred during the past thirty minutes.  This is a routine that I do not wish to alter and the presence of this friend may be like a stick poked into the blades of a moving fan.

And yet, I have an inner knowing that if I place challenges before me, possibly necessitating modifications to my routine, the whole experience may, in fact, be enriched.  So I have made a resolve to invite this friend today!

The Final Aha: I was actually out of the labyrinth when the most powerful revelation came to me.  I was putting on my shoes and as I did this, I reached for the amulet that I always associate with my mother.  This is a rose quartz pendant that my mother wore in the last years of her life and as her care-giver I clearly remember seeing it on a gold chain about her neck.  When my mother passed away this pendant was a reminder of her.  Although I did not wear it, the pendant was always with me, either in my pocket or on me in some other fashion and I “worried” it much in the same fashion that men in the Mediterranean region handle worry beads or Catholics pass a rosary through their fingers.  While trying to find a connection with my mother, I used the presence of this object, which was once so much a part of her, as the conduit to her.

As I was reaching for this amulet in my pocket, I could not find it.  At this precise moment a very clear message came to me that there was not need for a “trinket” in order to have a connection with her.  This was such an all- encompassing feeling.  There was such a strong surge of love and I felt my mother’s presence more strongly than I have in a very long time.  As I sat on that bench in the sunshine, outside the church, I realized that the pendant could be put to rest.  When I arrived home I placed it in a small chest with some other treasures of mine because I realized that her spirit is not in that rose quartz amulet.  It is in my heart!

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Love what you do …

If you cannot do what you love then try to love what you do.  This is actually not as difficult to do as it may sound and the results are pure magic.

In every conceivable situation there is something that you can be happy about or love.  You can start with something very simple like the colour of the paint on the wall of your work-place.  Laugh if you like but then try it.  When you find yourself focusing on something unpleasant at your place of work just look at the colour of the paint on the wall … really look at it … or smell the scent of the soap in the washroom … If you really focus on it you will find yourself shifting away from the unpleasantness.

Make this practice a habit so that it will become second nature to you and just watch how much better you feel and now the synchronicity kicks in … This is the key to the magic.  You are promoted to a different department; you see an advert for the job of your dreams;  a head-hunting firm contact you … the possibilities are endless.

Just focus on the pleasant and not on the unpleasant … make it your daily intention to see something, anything, positive.

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De-cluttering …

All is well in Prince George – spring has finally sprung so I am daily aware and very appreciative of the bounty of nature.  That is also in part due to the fact that I am enjoying “work” with the Prince George Symphony very much.  To do any activity with a total focus brings satisfaction.  Yearning takes me away from what is happening right here and right now.  It defuses the present  … I miss out on the joy of the moment and that creates a dull lustre which at the end of the day makes all that has taken place a joyless blur.
I will be going to Vancouver for a short visit in June for my son’s university convocation.  By the beginning of July I should have all the music for the Symphony’s next season sourced and ordered and then I will return permanently to Vancouver.
Will I do this again next winter?  Don’t know!  I have not made any firm decision as I leave for Italy on the 13th of September and my return is for the 30th of October … although that could change as I am always open to find a way to remain more permanently in Europe.  I will try to remain open to all offers that come from the Universe.
And now to the main reason for this post.  A couple of months ago I wrote about the power of NO and yet it appears that I have not applied that information into a most important aspect of my life:  my daily work activities.  Recently I made a very empowering decision and that is:  I have no passion for doing business via the computer. That is, applying social media tactics to my services does not set my hair on fire.  When I think of music or travel or cooking then my whole being resonates like a violin string and I sizzle.  But when I think of implementing social media technology there is a knot in my stomach.  The technology does not come easily to me.  It feels like I am trying to swim against a current.
This may explain why my attempts to generate revenue from online activities has been a total failure.  Failure may be a little harsh since every effort that we exert generates some positive results and I certainly learned a great deal.  However, I believe that my involvement was for all the wrong reasons.  Making money should be secondary while enjoying what I do should be the primary reason for any activity and then the secondary one automatically happens … at least that is the way it has always worked for me in the past.  For these reasons I made a very definitive decision and here is where the practice of saying NO is applied.  I said NO to all the webinar offers that were coming in daily.  I said NO to all the folders and links containing instructions on “how to … be successful in online business” and I began to purge this information from my computer.  I also threw out all my written notes of which I had two large binders … this process of “de-cluttering” was most empowering and now I am open to receive whatever comes to me, always remembering my passions.  I will listen carefully to my inner voice and will not get on a wagon simply because everyone else is boarding it.
Be bold! Trust your intuition and may you also find power in NO!
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Waiting …

I have not written here for almost two months.  As the days passed by I would say “I really should write …” and then realized that “should” is not the right reason for writing, so I did not submit anything.  I did muse about it but that is as far as it got.

I became occupied with numerous other activities, such as learning all about being a music librarian.  Nevertheless, my daily meditations or quiet times were niggled with the absence of a missive on these pages … but I waited and waited in hopes of an inspiration.  After all, if I am going to write anything, there should be a reason, a message … something more than just a recording of the mundane daily activities of Csilla Moffat in Prince George.

There is another reason why I have not visited here.  I have not wanted to indulge in self-pity and furthermore, I did not wish to record it.  You see this time of year Vancouver bursts with a virulent rebirth in nature – a Celebration of Life.  It is a season that I adore.  I walk in Stanley Park every day and watch the trees don their beautiful crowns of white and pink blossoms which gradually change to a lush green foliage.  There is none of that here in Prince George.  The trees are still bare although most of the snow from the ground has now melted away.  So I have been waiting … for rebirth? for inspiration?

This entry is not the result of an inspiration nor is there yet a sign of rebirth in nature.  It simply is.  I have decided to wait no more because as this amazing little illustration shows, life is about now, just as it is.  And to quote my youngest: This too shall pass.

The trees will soon turn green here and Vancouver springs will be waiting for me next year.  I am filing away the photos sent by well-meaning friends and heading over to visit my two boisterous grand-children. Their joy and energy easily replaces cherry blossoms and budding tulips. They are my spring, my budding blossoms, and there is no need to wait because they are always there and they celebrate life regardless of what is happening outdoors!

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The Power of No …

No is a word that I have some difficulty in using when it refers to asserting myself.  I reproach myself when I do not use it and yet I am now in a situation where asserting myself would have meant depriving myself of some amazing experiences in rural living.  Let me explain.

About a month a friend asked me for a favour: would I house sit a home that is about half an hour north-west of Prince George for a couple who would be escaping the winter scene for sunny Mexico but whose dog was going to be left at home?  The main attraction for me was “we heat with a wooden stove”.  Now there is something about heating a home in the winter with wood that cannot be duplicated with any other type of heating system.  Furthermore, I love chopping wood.  Don’t ask me why but it is an activity that I always recall doing with great pleasure.  So I said “yes” but almost immediately there was some trepidation.  I would be some distance from my grand-children so that they could not simply drop in for a short visit after school.  I had already been squawking about not being in the environment of the big city buzz and now I was going into the country, removing myself even from the “small buzz” of Prince George … I kept ruminating on simply phoning and saying “NO, I have changed my mind”.  But there was some hesitation so I didn’t.  I came out on the first of February.  I chopped wood and built great big comforting fires in the Franklin stove.  My grand-children came out for the week-end and suddenly I felt that “all is well”.

Then the other evening, as I sat on the sofa reading and sipping a glass of Spanish Tempranillo, I looked up and a full moon was rising and peeking at me between the trees.  The sight was breath-taking and will remain etched in my memory.  I know that I would have missed that view in the city.

During the month that I kept vacillating: should I go? should I say no? I did not take any action to reverse my decision and I realized the evening of the full moon that had I been assertive I would have missed what I am experiencing out here in the country right now; the quiet calm bliss of pristine country scenery, a gentle dog’s welcoming wag, the therapeutic bliss of chopping wood (thank God that I do not need to carry water), and the memory of the powerful wonder of the universe – a rising moon that is truly a priceless gift for me to behold.  That scene brought home to me the message that I need to be confident in the inner voice that knows what I really want and gently guides me.  In this case that was the hesitation to assert myself and say no. I am always exactly where I am meant to be and to appreciate the present, the moment, is to capture true joy, true bliss!

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Or Almost …

The last time that I was here I indicated that I was on track.  It was in my 11th week in Prince George.  But somehow this has not really happened.  I am now into my 14th week and it seems that the great freeze out of doors has penetrated my indoors or at least me personally.  I have not been at all motivated to share my experiences.  Don’t get me wrong.  Life has continued to move forward but I am not quite certain that I  have been moving with it.   Just looking out of my front door makes me want to turn around and go inside again.  I have shared this image before – about three months ago – but it has not changed!

My two angels are constantly in my life and I really appreciate their presence.  Focus … focus on all the positive is my mantra of the moment.  The other community activities that are a part of my Prince George life are also still in existence but there is a shift and the shift is downwards.  I am not certain what has brought this about.  Is it the regular dump of snow and more snow?  The deep freeze of minus 35 Celsius that only managed to creep up to a minus 25 for several days?  When I went out of doors my nostrils froze together and as an antidote I closed my eyes and smelled the tropical warmth that smacks one in the face when deplaning at an exotic destination like Mexico or Colombia.  Oh what a good feeling that created.  Not that those places are really exotic but they certainly fall into that category for me when I am walking in minus thirty degree weather!

But I really need to focus on the community events which address the need to elevate, at least the mood, from the cold.  There was the week of activities that came under the label of Cold-Snap Festival and it included much local music making and dancing – both indoors and out of doors.  Birthday parties in this area often mean skating, or sleigh rides with real horses and jingling bells.

And now we are preparing for a fun-filled evening to celebrate Carnevale on the 11th of February just short of Ash Wednesday which falls on the 22 of February and marks the beginning of Lent but also the hope for spring at the end of those forty days. Oh to once again see the bright colours of nature!

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And Back On Track …

On the 24th of December I left the frozen north, flying to Vancouver for the Christmas holidays.  Being feted by dear friends and new acquaintances kept me away from the computer thus no blogging, no social media updates.  I made a vow of silence as regards the internet.  Now I know that extended absences of this nature are suicidal for retention of a following but I felt no guilt, no remorse.  Now that I am back in Prince George, three weeks later, I feel a sense of commitment and appreciate the opportunity that this pace and life style allows me to focus on what I love to do: share my experiences in writing .

While in Vancouver I enjoyed the mild almost spring-like weather.  I took walks in Stanley Park and smelled the salt chuck of Coal Harbour and English Bay.  The shrill of the gulls was welcoming as was the hustle and bustle of Granville Island.

But now I am back in a snowy, wintery scene and getting back into the routine that was in place prior to my exodus is a welcome.  My eleventh week in Prince George has begun and I am anticipating a whole new series of adventures of which you will soon be able to read right here.

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